Flight fear to no fear

From childhood have always been fascinated by planes and at the same time freaked out looking at planes. No idea how fascination and fear could go together. whenever a family member or a friend has said that we will be travelling in a plane. My thoughts invariably will be yes but oh no!. Its nothing but constituing of few factors.

• Air sickness - Will I puke on someone or after puking How am I going to feel.

• Why does everything look so small from the plane. Yes, fear of heights acrophobia precisely.

• No food. (even though Im a foodie). Not wanting to eat in plane even though the next person sitting right next to me is gulping some hot maggie and coffee. whereas I'm stuck with minutemaid nimbu pani, taste nice though.

• The invariable thinking that i might end up doing something wrong in the airport while checking in or just in the case that i might miss the flight.

The day kept getting near and my fear inspight increasing. Before the day finally arrived, my sleep had surely gone for a toss. I really could not sleep as I had to board the flight in the morning, tossing around my bed. checking the time some million times. I finally gave up and got up. Stepping into the hot water for taking bath. my mind is still fixed of how am i going to check in and board the flight and if everything will go smooth. I finally got ready and left home in a cab. Pulled all my strength and walked into the airport. even though I wanted do a about turn and run away. 

So,a short while ago when I had to travel alone in a plane that too to Delhi. Booking of a ticket was a hazzle for me in my mind. So many thoughts that occurred that i kept flipping at the booking websites. Something which actually made me do it was one of my close friend's marriage and second I have to get rid of this fear and all those factors. yes, indeed I did book tickets up and down. even though my mind and stomach was churning up and down. Phew! booked tickets but, everyday i had to go about thinking how am i going to travel alone. Will i be able to do it or will i end up cancelling the tickets. Fear sometimes vapourises your mind, puts you in an isolated mind and makes you do whatever it wants you to do. This time I had to literally fight with the fear and not let it win.

As, I finish the checking in process and wait for the entering the plane. I meet a dear old woman who seems to be in equal fear as me.She starts chatting with me and lets me know that she is planning a trek trip to Himalayas and that is why she is travelling. Im quite spellbound at that point of time. somewhere the fear inside me slowly starts leaving. If an old woman who is somewhere close to 70 can trek then, travelling in the plane alone should not be that difficult. We enter the flight and there Im looking at the airhostress with a smile and a confused look. the confused look is because i get a seat next to the window. Me being me will surely watch out of the window when the plane takes off and yes, that's what I did. Mr fear says hi to me again and there im pepping in through the window to see if i can see something and everything is quite minute. I somehow start to pray and try to relax myself trying to occasionally see what others are doing and also trying to read. even though I have no idea about what i read.  

The sweet old woman keeps looking at me in the middle probably she was amused to see me and tells me a bit of her travelling stories. I do listen with a lot of interest but, I'm also scared that the air sickness might just take the energy out of me. The airhostress arrives in a while and greets me asking what I would like to have and yes your right I say, nimbu pani. Dint want to take a chance you see. as the grandma seems to be impressed the way i was talking to her. I dint want to scare her off assuming about the air sickness.  Best friend was nimbu pani at that point of time to save me. 

After a while I tried getting some sleep even though i could not sleep properly. Everything seemed to remind me that I'm in the plane and i need to a bit more cautious then im. I take out my novel and start reading whereas my concentration is much on the watch seeing when m going to arrive and is it going to be without any hazzle. Somehow I read and the airhostress sends us a notification that we are in Delhi and we are getting closer to the airport. I look in outside the window and i smile to myself saying that I have done it. We reach the airport and when we are getting out of the plane, I smile with more happiness to the air hostress. Probably she would have guessed before that I was scared. I bid farewell to the old lady and Im kind of dancing and walking towards the baggage counter saying I made it. Probably few people did notice my dance walk. he he!